Lance Cpl. "just knew something was going amiss with me"

All are heroes: the Lance Corporal
A Lance Corporal who suffered from post traumatic stress has told how he struggled with the condition while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"I'll tell you what the worst feeling in the world is: it's flying out on a C-17 with the seriously injured guys, when there's not a scratch on you."

This is Jim Maguire* and he's 29. He joined the Army in 1998 and saw service in Iraq and Afghanistan as a gunner and a Lance Corporal commanding a Scimitar armoured reconaissance vehicle.

He now suffers from post traumatic stress disorder.

"I died of shame 100 times, talking to lads from the same battle with missing limbs. Yet I was still thinking, 'But I was there, I'm no coward, I was there fighting to help you guys stay alive.'

"In the UK they don't look at your passport, no debrief, nothing. I walked off the plane and walked home. Soon after that is when I first tried to kill myself.

"Thank God somebody passed my details to Combat Stress and when they got my file they sent someone straight away. Honestly, they showed up just in time! I went into Audley Court, where they truly appreciate what's happened to you."

It took about three years for the seriousness of Mr Maguire's illness to reach critical, having first been to Iraq in June 2003, to the volatile area of Al Amarah.

He was then seconded to Baghdad and that's when he first noticed signs of PTSD, though he had no idea what it was.

"I just knew something was going amiss with me," he says.
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All are heroes