Changing after PTSD

Changing after PTSD
by
Chaplain Kathie

If you are new to this blog, I am married to a Vietnam Vet with PTSD and have struggled to understand why I don't have it after multiple life threatening events in my own life. What I have learned is that talking about it after played a huge part in this ability to heal as well as the understanding I have about God. My faith and my family have been my "rock" all my life. Coming from big Greek family, we talked everything to death. In other words, until there was nothing left to say about a subject. There were no secrets. Surrounded by love and caring ears gave me the support I needed and my faith gave me the strength to overcome. I cannot say that events in my life did not change me. I cannot say that healing after was easy. It was a struggle. I had all the questions everyone else has and I had the same desire to be "who" I was before. To be "myself" again.

Let Me Be Myself lyrics

I guess i just got lost being someone else,
I tried to kill the pain
But nothing ever helped
I left myself behind
Somewhere along the way
Hoping to come back around
and find myself some day

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's OK, tell me please
Would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So I can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

Would you Let Me Be Myself
Coz I'll never find my heart
Behind someone else
I'll never see the light of day
Living in this cell
It's time to make my way
Into the world i knew
And take back all of these times
That I gave in to you

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's OK, tell me please
Would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So I can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself,
For a while
If you don't mind,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

That's all i ever wanted from this world
Was to let me be me..

Please, would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself
Please, would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself,
For a while
If you don't mind,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

Let Me Be Myself

Discovering that was impossible was really not so bad. There were changes in how I thought about other people but I was amazed at the same time with how much stronger I had become.

When a veteran comes back from combat, they have lived with facing death from the moment they touch soil there until the moment they touch soil home. Every second there changes the next moment for them. When they come home there are profound changes for some.

Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French parfunt, profond deep, from Latin profundus, from pro- before + fundus bottom — more at pro-, bottom
Date: 14th century
1 a : having intellectual depth and insight b : difficult to fathom or understand
2 a : extending far below the surface b : coming from, reaching to, or situated at a depth : deep-seated
3 a : characterized by intensity of feeling or quality b : all encompassing : complete
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/profound

These changes can feel like weakness as they wait to "get over it" at the same time they want to go back to the way they were before combat. The truth is every event in our lives changes all humans but we never really think about how much we do change. When it is after trauma, especially trauma in combat, no one is ever the same person they were before. Some need help to heal from it. Some need to talk after to feel "normal" again coming to terms with what they saw or what they had to do. They need to know other people understand. Above all they need to know they are still loved, cared about and that they still matter.

For some they need to feel that they have been forgiven by God as well.

When they come home and they do not receive the help all humans need, find the support and a safe place to talk about it, then it eats away at them. They lose. This is why we are seeing so much suffering in our veterans. PTSD is a human wound that comes only after trauma. There is trauma from natural events like the flooding in Tennessee or the floods we saw in New Orleans after Katrina. There are events caused by other humans. Traffic accidents and crimes. There are traumas we put ourselves into as our jobs as emergency responders, firefighters, but there are also those that come with the extra component of participating in the trauma itself. Law enforcement and combat.

While we all need help to heal from one traumatic event, we need to pay special attention to those who suffer from trauma in extended periods of time. This is why the Army study of the increase risk of redeploying troops found what it did. The risk of PTSD increased by 50% for each time sent back, yet they continue to do it sending troops into Iraq and Afghanistan over and over again. This at the same time they did little to have mental health and chaplains there to listen when needed. This is one more indication of why the flood of veterans has been coming in seeking help.

When they do receive the help they need to heal, they stop wishing to be the person they were before because they discover, as I did, events we survive are only part of it. Healing from them makes us stronger and usually, even better than we were before.

The choice is our's. Do we let them wait without help so that PTSD gets worse or do we take the time to care and be there now?