Putting this on a more common, personal level, there are people who will never go to a wake, funeral, never visit a grave, because they are not able to instead of being unwilling to. We all know people like that. They stop conversations when the memory of someone is brought up because they never found a way to face the pain they have over the loss. Avoiding it keeps them frozen so that more pain over the loss cannot touch them.
Pictures are taken down so they have no reminder. Personal items are sold or donated so there is no trace of the person to face. Others cherish these reminders. Others go to the cemetery. To each one, their own road is taken in order to cope, to grieve, to heal.
Veterans are no different than other humans. For some, making sure all items linked to their service are locked away, hidden from their eyes. They want no mention of their service made, no reference made to Vietnam, just as they avoid veterans service organizations and events. For others, sharing time with someone like them is vital to their survival. Some find comfort in groups while others unable to move on find denial and avoidance as a life skill. As with anything else, they need to be ready to do this, supported by someone close to them to do it and listened to after they do it. It does not matter how long they were there, it just matters they were there and never returned as the citizen they used to be. War changes everyone. Peace comes to some after depending on what they faced when they were supposed to be returned to "normal" life as a veteran.
These trips have helped many because they were ready for it just as the Wall helped heal some because they were ready for it. Do not force your veteran to try this. They will know when they are able to do it and you'll know when they are willing.
Returning to Vietnam
Battleground tourism, especially to ’Nam, has become a vibrant business. Vets find the experience powerful and, sometimes, healing. CBS’ Peter Greenberg reports for Newsmax magazine.
Peter Greenberg, CBS News’ travel editor, is the author of numerous books under the “Travel Detective” banner. The most recent is Tough Times, Great Travels. He also hosts a weekly syndicated radio program heard on many stations around the country.
Jim doyle was just six months out of high school in Fresno, Calif., when he was drafted in 1968. By January 1969 he was in Vietnam, fighting with the 1st Infantry Division northwest of Saigon.
“I had never been out of the United States,” he recalls. Within days, he became familiar with terms such as trapezoid, iron triangle, and fishhook — all military IDs for hot-fire zones, or no-man’s corridors between the Cambodian border and Vietnam.
A year later, he was shipped back out. “I left with mixed emotions,” Doyle says, adding, “I was leaving all my friends behind. But I swore one day I would come back.”
When he did go back, as part of a 16-day trip in 1995, he was overcome with emotions, including shame and relief.
“We spent so much blood, energy, and treasure trying to blow this place up, and I didn’t know any better,” he says. As his plane was flying in, “I had this yin and yang of thrill and terror at the same time. But as soon as we landed in Hanoi, as soon as my foot hit the pavement, I felt this enormous weight come off my shoulders.” He’s been back 18 times since.
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Battleground tourism,
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