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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

PTSD? What were you thinking?

Some people have a problem when I use the word "soul" but have an easier time accepting the term "heart" so on this post, let's stick to that term.

If you were thinking you wanted to kill instead of defeat when you entered into the military, then you shouldn't worry about PTSD hitting you. The level of your compassion is so low, the possibility of you being wounded by what used to be called Soldier's Heart, is extremely low.

If you were thinking you wanted to defend your country, wanted to give back, wanted to be a part of something noble, then you should remember that, embrace that and understand that.

The notion of Rambo figures running around Iraq and Afghanistan is part of the problem. Added to that is the view of the military that men and women can toughen their minds to prevent PTSD. What they do not know understand is that you cannot prepare your mind to stop being "who" you are inside. You can however use that mind of your's to heal faster if you know how to make it work together.

A Marine regretting the fact he survived when a buddy didn't was supported when another Marine was responsible for the fallen Marine being on that road that night. The Marine who stayed behind blamed the survivor for the other life being lost simply because he was feeling the guilt of it happening, but wanted to deflect it onto the Marine already hurting because it was not him instead. Two feeling guilty for still being alive when there was nothing they could have done to prevent it and were not in control of what happened.

A National Guards soldier tried to commit suicide twice before he understood what PTSD was, why it picked on him just as he couldn't understand why that final image could not leave his mind. He had forgotten about the fact he did everything possible to prevent taking lives of civilians in Iraq.

They are all trying to find themselves beneath the pain. Most want to go back to the way they were before and those are the only words they want to hear. They don't want to accept the fact that every even in our lives changes us by our experiences. They don't want to hear they cannot be cured, so when they are told they can be healed, that's just not good enough. Yet when they are told they can come out of this darkness better and stronger, this gives them hope based in reality.

The guilt they feel can be released if they can stop and think about what was in their heart before the life altering traumatic event happened. If they ask themselves what they were thinking before it happened, then they are able to forgive themselves for the outcome. The callous will not bother with guilt so surviving is a good thing. The compassionate will walk away with their own pain as well as the pain of others and this is what needs to be focused on to begin the healing.

Even for those put into positions where they did end up getting so angry they were trying to kill off as many as possible, forgiveness can happen once they understand that every other event has contributed to their change in attitude.

They need to see who they always were inside and then, then they can use the "old" them to help them heal. It all depends on what they were thinking in those horrifying moments out of their lives what happens to the rest of their lives after.

How can they come out better? Because every event in our lives goes into who we become. If we understand it, accept it, learn from it, grow with it, then we can heal it. Once there, as a survivor, people stand stronger because it did not destroy them, all the goodness within them, all the compassion within their heart and all their courage are made stronger and deeper.

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