Will you remember them?

Will you remember them?
by
Chaplain Kathie

To the parents

You raised your sons and daughters. You saw them develop into adults. From the time you taught them how to walk and stand on their own two feet, you watched them become their own person. You knew what they liked and what they had no tolerance for. You knew what made them laugh as well as what made them cry. You knew how much they cared about you and the rest of the family as well as how much they cared about their friends. You knew what kind of students they were and how much they tried their best. What came easy for them and what they had to work hard for was all known to you. So how is it when this son of your's or daughter of your's comes back from being deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan is now a stranger to you?

To the spouse
How many years did you spend with your husband or wife? How many conversations did you have with them indicating what they thought and how they felt? It was enough to base wanting to spend the rest of your life with them. You wanted to build a future with them because they were special to you. You knew what made them laugh, what got them angry and what made them cry. You trusted them enough with your heart to make the commitment to be by their side even though you knew the military could send them away into another nation. You loved them enough to be willing to endure the possibility of being a single parent while they were deployed just as much as you were willing to face transfers to different bases in different states, maybe even different countries. You were willing to accept the risk to their lives knowing each deployment could be their last. With all you had to worry about, how is it that when they came home acting differently, you just assumed they were suddenly someone totally different instead of the same person you loved but now in need of help?

To the clergy
You saw them during services, watched them with their families and children. They were faithful to attend, usually they volunteered to help and you had many conversations with them. When they were deployed, you asked your congregation to pray for them so that God's angels watched over them and brought them home safely. You wrote a special sermon for Memorial Day, 4th of July and Veterans Day thinking of them and the sacrifices they were willing to make for the rest of country. So how is it when they come home needing help, you take no interest in this? Why do you avoid talking to them the way you used to? Why haven't you paid a visit to their home, talked to their families or offered to listen to them as they try to rationalize believing in a loving God but having to endure the hazards of hell in combat? Why haven't you talked to them about the friends they saw die? Why haven't you talked to them about the buddy no longer able to walk? When they sit with their families during services as you look upon them while delivering a sermon on God's love, how can you allow them to suffer with tears in their eyes and not be moved to help them?

To the employers of National Guardsman
You saw them 5 days a week. You knew how hard they worked for you and how dependable they were. You knew what they excelled at and what they struggled to learn how to do. You knew how other employees felt about them the same way you knew how much you could depend on them to give the job all they had. You knew they were even willing to risk their lives in times of crisis serving in the National Guards. As a matter of fact, you even admired their willingness to put the safety of others ahead of themselves. So how is it when they come home, changed by what they went through, you want to fire them instead of help them? Are they that disposable? Do you think that the loyal employee you admired is suddenly someone not worth having around? Ever talk to them and ask them if they need help? Have you ever wondered why they acting so differently at all?

This is the biggest problem the troops come home to. It's not debate about the worthiness of Iraq or Afghanistan. They had a job to do and were sent where they were. It is not about parades a couple of times a year or patriotic ceremonies when they die and it sure isn't about sending a card to any wounded soldier at Walter Reed or Bethesda. It's not about handing a buck to a homeless veteran or donating some worthless clothing to a charity. While all of this matters to them, it would matter a lot more if you stopped and remembered who they were before they left because they are screaming to be seen again by you.

They are waiting for someone to say, "You changed. What's going on inside of you?" with a caring, non-judging donation of your time. They want someone to see them still inside that body now slouched over in the chair carrying the weight of their service on their shoulders. They need someone to know they would not suddenly change into a stranger without reason. So why haven't you?

We can donate money to build monuments to those who serve but if we neglect those who serve, what good does a stone do? We can kick them out of our homes so that we can live a peaceful life again, but what good does that do when the peace could have been restored in our homes with the person we loved still with us instead of walking the streets or sleeping on someone's couch? We can avoid paying attention to them as our lives are shattered by them doing things that are abnormal. We can get angry with yet another nightmare wakes them up instead of having compassion for them and knowing there is something very dark behind the nightmare. We can feel hurt when they are oblivious to us or suddenly act out of character instead of hurting for them and what has caused the change.

They are part of our lives. Troops become veterans. Veterans are rare in this country with less than 10% of the population ever knowing what it is like to put on a uniform and risk your life. They carry it all inside of them and sometimes that weight is just too much for them to carry alone. Where are you? Will you help them carry this load of pain and help them heal? Will you seek the tools to help them or will you put yourself first and just want them out of your lives?

The choice is your's to make. Here's a place to start.

PTSD I Grieve

Posted to Great Americans by NamGuardianAngel on September 11, 2009

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