Troops' Return Can Be Challenge For Whole Family

Troops' Return Can Be Challenge For Whole Family

By JESSE LEAVENWORTH

The Hartford Courant

December 27, 2009


ENFIELD — - A woman at Jessica Keller's church — the wife of a Vietnam veteran and mother of their four children — told Keller that she spoke to her husband only once during his yearlong tour of duty.

Keller said that made her see how fortunate she has been.

While Maj. James "Jake" Keller served in Afghanistan last year, he and Jessica e-mailed each other every day. They also spoke every week by phone and even had a few video conversations over the Internet. Through regular mail, Jessica Keller sent her husband drawings from their two young daughters and sent pressed leaves in the fall to remind him of his Connecticut home.

"It's good just to hear that life is actually normal back in the real world," Jake Keller, a National Guard soldier, said, "knowing that you've got something to look forward to once you get out of there."

The Kellers say that constant contact helped them adjust and carry on when Jake Keller returned from his yearlong tour two days after Christmas in 2008. People who counsel returning service members and their families say that the ease and variety of modern communications have helped with the homecoming adjustment.

"Overall, more communication tends to be better than less communication," said Joseph Bobrow, executive director of the nonprofit Coming Home Project (cominghomeproject.net), which provides counseling and support for service members and their families.

Still, communication can't smooth every jagged patch caused by long separation and the brutality of war. Keller had a relatively easy return to family and work, but some service members travel a tougher road home.

"There are many, many challenges," Bobrow said. "The first is that the service member may be home physically, but they're not home emotionally, spiritually, mentally. They haven't begun to process all that they've been through. Getting home takes quite a bit of time."
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Return Can Be Challenge For Whole Family