Wasn’t the Bad Man a Soldier? child asks after Fort Hood

“Wasn’t the Bad Man a Soldier?”
Posted on November 15th, 2009
by Carissa Picard in Op-ed, Texas News, US Government News, US News, crime, military

I live in a housing village on Fort Hood. On November 4th, at approximately 1:30 PM, the emergency alarms went off. I was expecting to hear that this was a test of the “Emergency Alert System.” Instead, I heard, “Attention. Seek shelter immediately. Close all doors and windows. Turn off all ventilation systems. Seek shelter immediately. Close all doors and windows. Turn off all ventilation systems.” Then the alarms went off again. And again. Every fifteen minutes.
A great deal of confusion followed For the next two hours there were many rumors about what was happening, including a shooting at the PX and in one of the villages. My husband, who was off-post with our children (who thankfully got out of school at 1 PM that day and were with him) was unable to come on post as it was on lock down. He called me and insisted that I not only stay in the house but that I stay on the second floor and away from the windows.
Around 6:30 PM, Fort Hood lifted the lock down that had prevented anyone from entering or leaving. From CNN, I learned the details of the mass murder that had occurred less than 15 minutes away from our home at the place my husband had visited on numerous occasions in preparation for his tour to Iraq and as part of his reintegration upon his unit’s return.
As soon as the news began covering the shooting, I started receiving emails and phone calls from people who were worried about me. People I barely know have extended their thoughts and prayers to me and my family. I have not responded to 99 percent of these people, including family. I have not talked about the shooting since it occurred. I have talked about the shooter, Major Hasan, but not about the shooting itself.
Today, ten days later, I went to the shoppette with another spouse who lives about six houses down the street from me. The first thing I saw when I entered the store was two racks of this week’s TIME magazine with Major Hasan’s military photo on the cover, life-sized and large. It was like being punched in the stomach. My first reaction was disgust. Then anger. I turned to my friend and told her, “I don’t even talk about what happened! Who the hell are they to talk about it?” So naturally I had to buy the magazine and find out what they had to say.
(You know what? If no magazine was making the shooting an issue, that probably would have upset me, too. It is all very confusing.)
This got me thinking about why I don’t talk about the shooting. People keep asking me if I am okay. I don’t know how to answer that question. Yes? No? Maybe? This is a loaded question for those of us who have to answer it.
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