If you love them, talk to them

by Chaplain Kathie

What's stopping you from talking about what is inside of you? Do you think someone you care about will think differently of you if they knew? Too late, they already think differently of you but not the way you deserve them to. They are thinking either you don't love them anymore or, you changed into a jerk they don't know anymore.

Are you thinking they will think you are weak? Too late on that one too because while they could be seeing the strength you have inside, they are seeing you reach for another drink, another pill, another joint. They see you running away from them and trying to run away from yourself. You are really not fooling anyone the way you think you are.

They loved you when before you began to hurt inside and you are still the same person. Let them know you are in pain. Let them know where the pain is coming from. Let them know you need their help and understanding. You didn't change but the events you lived through ended up changing how you are feeling toward every aspect of your life.

When you become a veteran, you are not like anyone else. You did not do a job like anyone else. As a matter of fact, you are very rare. Over three hundred million people in this country and there are less than 30 million veterans. When you become a police officer, you are rare, just as you are when you become a firefighter. Emergency responders and National Guards, all rare. Do you expect to react to any part of life the same as anyone else does? Your perception of every aspect of life is no longer the same. Add in when you have PTSD and need help, then you know how important it is to speak up, speak out and be helped up to heal.

If you trusted them before you ended up with PTSD, you need to trust them now. Talk to them and tell them you are hurting.

The other problem is when there is an event with well meaning people, out of a good time. They may care about veterans, may want to know what is really going on, but no one knows what to do, how to start a conversation. For those who are really interested, usually they have someone in their own family needing help because the rest are just there to have a good time.

Most service groups are made up of different types of people. Some of them just go for fellowship, others go to become a part of something bigger than themselves. Each group needs to have some people of courage within them, able to listen when someone needs to talk. It isn't that hard to listen. You just need to care first and the rest comes. You begin to look to understand better, find answers and learn more so you can help them. This way, you will also be able to help other veterans. The key is listening when someone wants to talk, being for them, hearing them, instead of judging them. We can take care of a lot more people if we are only willing to talk, take down the emotional walls and others are ready to listen.