I Can Do Bad All By Myself

Last night I went to see I Can Do Bad All By Myself. This is what the movie was supposed to be about, but as usual, I walked away with a totally different message.

I Can Do Bad All By Myself


Synopsis
A hard-living nightclub singer discovers the importance of family with the help of a handsome Mexican immigrant in this inspirational comedy drama from writer/director Tyler Perry. When pistol-packing granny Madea (Perry) awakens to the sound of her home being ransacked by wayward teen Jennifer (Hope Olaide Wilson) and her two younger brothers, she promptly marches the troubled kids over their aunt April's house. But despite being the only relative the kids can turn to, April (Taraji P. Henson) is hardly a role model; a self-destructive songbird with a serious drinking problem, she spends her nights at the club and relies on her married boyfriend Raymond to pay the bills. Suddenly, into April's life wanders Sandino (Adam Rodriguez), a hard-luck immigrant in search of some honest work. Before long, Sandino has moved into April's basement room, and formed a solid connection with the kids. The closer April and Sandino grow, the more April begins to recognize the importance of faith and family. When the time comes to say goodbye to her old ways and start a new life, the wounded chanteuse realizes that she may have finally found the true love that's always eluded her. - Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

To me this movie was more about what can happen to each of us if we are left with no one to really care about us. Something happens in our life that can change the direction of our life but few hardly ever notice how monumental those moments really are.

I'm not going to give away the movie so I won't dwell on what made April the way she was, but Sandino could have made the same decisions in his life, but when in another direction. That's the biggest point.

When we are in terrible times of trouble, when we wonder how things could get so out of control or how we could have possibly gotten everything we thought wrong, there is a choice we make. We turn inward or we reach outward. It depends on if we actually land on our own two feet or not, what we end up doing.

Sandino landed on two firm feet. He was able to rise above his life and took the events in his life, as a way of helping others in times of need. April took it that no one care about her, so she didn't need to care about anyone either.

For me, since I also landed on my own two feet, even though I stood on shaky ground for a lot of years, helping other people is healing for me but it is also, in a twisted way, revenge against the people who never seemed to care at all, help me, defend me or even offer a shoulder to lean on. I don't wish them any harm, especially since I am sure they have no idea how much they ended up hurting others, but the way they made me feel about them and myself, made me more determined to be totally different.

I have noticed this with veterans especially. When they go within themselves, seeking the darkness they believe only they can understand, they stay in darkness. They push others away, push love away, healing away and instead of using their own pain to anchor them as they help others, they allow it to just drag them further into the abyss.

When they allow themselves to feel, allow ego to rest and seek out the help they need, they keep reaching outside themselves over and over again, soon taking them to the level where they reach out others falling into the same dark hell they just escaped from.


It's not the kind of trip I would wish on anyone, but once you escape it, you don't want to see anyone else travel down the first dip by themselves. You're determined to rescue them. When you do, you end up stronger and happier than all the others who refused to help. No one can save everyone and some just don't want help at all. You still have to try to save the ones you can. After all, someone did save you. You can do bad all by youself, left alone with no one to help you, or you can do good with friends ready to help you stand on solid ground.