Left Behind: Stories of war losses

Left Behind: Stories of war losses
Sunday, August 23, 2009
By Tricia L. Nadolny
Staff Writer


A couple stung by grief, six years after learning their son was among the first casualties of the war in Iraq. A soldier who lost three buddies and four years of his life. A young mother recently widowed, still in shock. All stories of loss here at home from a war that continues abroad.

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Then, she slept soundly.

Now, she wakes up every two hours, feels like she hasn’t been to bed in six years and doesn’t remember her dreams. Just the few that he’s in.

Then, she surrounded herself with friends.

Now, she can’t stand groups. After an hour at her daughter’s birthday party, she called it quits. Told them to take her home.

Then, she thought there may be a god.

Now, she knows there’s no such thing.

Brenda Lam measures time by the death of her son. Before and after. Then and now.

Six years ago — April 22, 2003 — Alan Lam died in Iraq. The Marine from Snow Camp became the first from the Piedmont to die in that war and still, at just 19 years old, is the youngest casualty from these parts.

Then, he was one of 131 . Now, he’s one of more than 5,100.

“You feel like you’re stuck in some kind of time warp where everything is moving faster than you are,” Brenda says, dragging on a cigarette.

Now, she smokes too much.

He had picked out his tux, all white. And she had picked out her shoes: rhinestone sandals with a bow in the back.

The colors would be coral and canary yellow.

And the dress — she hadn’t bought it yet, but she knew which one she wanted. The white A-line gown covered in lace.

“It was so, so pretty,” Nikja Gadson, 27, says.

The church ceremony would have been just a formality. She had officially married Laron Lawrence Gadson through paperwork filed while he was in Iraq.

The first time they were together as husband and wife, she was receiving his body at the airport.

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Left Behind Stories of war losses