For military For families, toughest times may lie ahead

I used to post on Military Spouses for Change, later changed to Military Spouses of America. It wasn't that I experienced what they are going thru now that I wanted to share what I know, but for the sake of what they will face tomorrow when their husbands and wives turn from "troop" to veteran. I figured it this way. If they can last through deployments and redeployments, their marriages have a fighting chance but unless they understood fully what can come home with them, there was little hope of hanging onto even a strong marriage.

For families, toughest times may lie ahead

By Rick Maze - Staff writer
Posted : Wednesday Jun 3, 2009 19:55:06 EDT

The wife of the Army chief of staff warned Wednesday that the worst problems for military families may lie ahead.

Sheila Casey, the wife of Army Gen. George Casey Jr., said in testimony before a Senate panel that military families are tough and generally resilient, but the cumulative effects of eight years of war are showing.

“Families are stretched and stressed,” she said. “I often refer to them as the most brittle part of the force. ... We can no longer ask them to make the best of it.”
go here for more
For families, toughest times may lie ahead

What ended up happening is that no matter how much I posted and shared what I knew, they would end up responding with they didn't need more things to worry about. Frustrating beyond belief because there I was ready to hand then over 27 years of knowledge gained the hard way and make it easy on them, but they wanted no part of it.

No hard feelings considering I knew exactly why they didn't want to know. Neither did I. I didn't have a military marriage. I had a veteran marriage. In the beginning of learning what PTSD was and what it did, I regretted looking at what could happen when the worst was finally sinking in my brain. Back then my husband's PTSD was mild. Thinking about what the future could hold scared the hell out of me. Then I knew that if I understood it, I'd know what to do and how to deal with it. So I grabbed everything I could from book stores, bought any magazine with Vietnam stories in it and went to the library to read about ancient warfare and this wound of the centuries. I knew whatever I learned, I was preparing for a battle of my own and I was armed and ready.

Now I try to tell the wives and husbands of today's warriors to prepare for their own battle. While some will take away what I have to share too many others walk away. They just don't want to know. If they think it is hard now, they will be shocked for what can come after and my heart breaks for them. Too many of them will see their marriages end needlessly. I'm glad that Casey's wife is trying to wake them up. I really hope she succeeds because I failed miserably doing it.