What are you doing this Memorial Day?

This Memorial Day, I'll be doing the usual. Working on the blog and reading stories from across the country, thinking about my Dad, uncles, my husband's Dad and uncles. All of them gone, remembered by head stones and flags for this day. Remember them however is something I do a lot ore than once a year.

I'll be thinking about the men and women I've posted on over the years, maybe look back on some of their stories but one will stick out more than all others. Capt. Agnes "Irish" Bresnahan of New Hampshire. She passed away in Washington DC after another hearing on her VA claim. It was March 11th and it still feels as if I just got the news. The pain of losing her will not seem to fade and at times, grows even stronger. She fought so hard for other veterans and dedicated the rest of her life to helping them, even though she never managed to help herself on her own claim. She support them, gave them hope, compassion, understanding and a shoulder to cry on. A few of them, well, she managed to save their lives when they didn't want to live anymore. So many things she did over the years few will ever know. I miss my friend beyond what words can express.

The other difference between this and every other year is that I'll be back from Washington DC. Thursday we're leaving for Washington on a bike trip from Florida to DC with the Nam Knights and Rolling Thunder to the Wall. I've never seen it before. When we moved to Florida, the WWII Memorial was dedicated in 2004, so there was no chance we could stop on the way. Not that my husband could have taken seeing it before but this year, he feels he's ready.

There is a little secret about the Wall few talk about and that is how powerful this Wall is. Some veterans are just not prepared for it. A veteran I was helping crashed emotionally after going to it. He had never before realized he had a problem with PTSD until he stood in front of the Wall and his life changed in that moment. This has happened to more veterans but no one seems to be willing to talk about it because the vast majority of veteran feel somehow soothed by it. I don't know how I'll feel myself after seeing it but I know I'll be standing by my husband's side when he does.

Memorial Day is the time when we reflect on the sacrifices of the men and women paying with their lives to serve this country, but we never think of how many others paid with their lives also because they served the country but did not die in combat or a recognized wound. PTSD took too many other lives but had they thought of adding the names to any of the memorials in Washington, there wouldn't be very much room left over for cars. They say that if they added on the up to 200,000 veterans that committed suicide and those who died of Agent Orange, the Wall would end up four times the size but I think they're underestimating.

Irish had both. She had PTSD and Agent Orange illnesses. The fact her name will not be on the Wall when I finally see the real thing, well, that will be part of my thoughts that day, just as every other day but on this day especially, I will be thinking of her. This Memorial Day as you stop to honor the lives gone make sure you also watch over the lives we still have with us here and in honor of the fallen, make sure you do all you can for the living before a Memorial Day comes and they too are but a memory for you.