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Sunday, May 3, 2009

PTSD:Mental health professionals need to listen

by
Chaplain Kathie
When a choir sits listening to the sermon each and every week, they are often surprised when they hear something new but often they hear something they had not thought of before. The saying "you're preaching to the choir" comes from this experience.

When it comes to mental health professionals it's time they began actually listening to the choir and stopped being offended by what they could learn if they got their egos out of the way. Advocates are not your enemy. We cannot diagnose conditions and we cannot treat psychological illnesses. We can however assist you in doing both. Most of us live with what you are trying to take care of.

When it comes to PTSD you can study all of it until you believe there is nothing more you need to know but unless you are living with it on a daily basis, there is much you will never learn in a book.

Often veterans are stunned by what I have to tell them and they will respond with "My psychologist never told me that." leaving me to respond with "They don't know because they don't live with it." but personally I want to add in "they will not listen either."

What you miss is that most of the veterans with PTSD were always sensitive people, caring about others more than themselves. They walk away from horrific events in combat taking away the pain of others along with their own. You need to treat them for the pain they feel inside but first you need to understand them and what made them different. This answers their most usual question of "Why me?"

What you fail to point out to them is that they showed great bravery when they kept on doing their duty, facing more and more traumatic events after they were wounded by PTSD and kept on doing it until they and their friends were out of danger or back home and then collapsed. They feel as if they are weak or cowards because the military tells them they can prepare their minds to be "tough" enough to take it.

What you fail to address is their soul. PTSD did not attack their mind first. It attacked their soul. It is an emotional wound setting off changes to the rest of the warrior. You need to find out if they believe God is judging them or they believe God abandoned them. This weighs heavily on their lives and cannot be dismissed. When they survive the horrors of war wondering where God was is often eating away at them and research has shown the faith of the "patient" does have a lot to do with the healing of that patient. Reconnecting them with their faith and God offers one more thing science cannot deliver on and that is hope. The loss of hope is one of the primary reasons many veterans commit suicide.

What also fail to understand is often they are not addicted to the chemicals alcohol and drugs offer but are seeking to kill off feelings, good and bad, they do not want to feel. There are times however you are dealing with both PTSD and addiction. If you misdiagnose either, the treatment will not work. If they have both then both need to be addressed. Ask if there is a history in the family of addiction and then take it from there. Do not assume it is an "either or" when it very well could be both.

What many of you are doing is talking to the family members to have a better understanding of what is going on. They know the history of your patient but they will not often know how things connect. Listen to key words like "suddenly changed" and then find out what happened before they "changed" to know what you are dealing with. Remember that family members are not mental health experts and will not think of things you need to know unless you ask them and listen carefully to what they do say. You also need to acknowledge that often the veteran will hide facts you need to know because they are either in denial or afraid to admit it. The spouse often can supply what they are not telling you.

In the process you also need to inform the spouse of things they can avoid to keep confrontation at a minimum. Often family troubles escalate because of their reactions to the veteran. If they do not understand what PTSD is and what it does, they will react as if they are dealing with the same person instead of a changed person. They react out of frustration and anger instead of reacting with knowledge. All the knowledge you give them will not only help them cope but will assist in treating the veteran as well.

Advocates can help you to help them. We are not in competition with you and we are not trying to take away your jobs. We're trying to make you better at doing your jobs so that you send back our warriors to us in the best possible condition so that we can live with them as well as possible.

And yes, you guessed right. I had another argument with another "expert" pointing out that they have a "Masters degree" but I pointed out I live with what they had to go to college to learn. Big difference.

4 comments:

  1. Good morning my friend. Your post today really "hit the nail right on the head." This has been a ongoing problem with the "shrinks" my daughter has gone to for over 1000 visits. They would never involve our family in anything (mostly because my daughter was using me as a whipping post) but they just weren't smart enough to see through what was going on. They always used the HIPPA LAWS as a shield. Guess they couldn't grasp the concept that my daughter felt I was safe territory. My daughter has Schizophrenia, however, she is high functioning most of the time. Many, many times it irks me when I hear the words 'recovery is possible' when the mental health professionals are not doing their jobs. The person suffering and their family also suffers, because of the inability of mental health providers to LISTEN. But as my husband says, you can't listen when you are talking......and listening is the most important part of communication.....

    This has been my biggest gripe with the mental health PROFESSIONALS because they seem to know it all, and my goodness, what could I possibly know about my daughter, that I raised and loved for years. You are correct about the ego's also. BOOK LEARNING does not make a person smarter if there isn't some common sense and compassion somewhere in the mix, rather than just a pay check.

    My daughter's addiction to pain killers has caused many mental health professionals to not want to treat her. A therapist here at our local public mental health center said...are you ready for this.....I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH HER DELUSIONS!!!! Duh...what is their job? My husband and I have had to put a stop to the pain pill routine...but we have done it. We can always tell when an 'all-knowing doctor' has given her some pills. Her personality changes. Don't the doctor's know about DUAL DIAGNOSIS !!!

    Thank you so much for validating what my thoughts have been Kathie. It is comforting to me to know I haven't been "OFF IN LEFT FIELD."

    Now, where does one go from here.....take care my friend....and keep advocating.....

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  2. Grandma B, As usual you stun me. Left field is not where you are but right where you should be. While I can understand the "mental health professionals" not being willing to listen to people clearly uneducated on mental health, they are way too hesitant to listen to people who have taken the time to learn and understand. Families have a lot to offer in healing and helping the "patient" because they not only love them, they live with them and know "who" they are.

    There have been way too many times when I thanked God for psychologists and psychiatrist willing to listen to me. There was a time when my husband just couldn't fight for himself anymore and they heard what I had to say.

    One of our friends ended up over the edge with PTSD out of control last year. His doctors wouldn't listen to his wife and wouldn't talk to her. I told her that if they didn't listen and sent him home, they would be responsible for whatever happened to him after. She pointed out that fact to them and the fact she had the legal authority because of a living will. Many people do not use it for mental health but when they are unable to make decisions for themselves, it comes in handy. It has to state that the spouse has the authority to make decisions when the other spouse cannot. It all has to do with how well it's written. Anyway, once they were forced to listen to her, they saw clearly that he was simply telling the doctors what he wanted to tell them instead of the truth. He was able to manipulate them because they did not know him or his history. Because she was listened to, he is still alive today but is living in a halfway house so he can get the care he needs and she can have some peace of mind.

    They were ready to release him and he would have either died or ended up killing her as he said he intended to do. Imagine if they were not forced to listen? How many times has this happened? We read it in the newspapers all the time about a mental healthcare patient committing crimes or suicide by cop because no one would listen to the family.

    If these "professionals" are more interested in taking care of the patient and making their lives better than they are their own egos, they will listen. If not, then you have the wrong professional taking care of your family member. In your case, you and your husband know your daughter better than they ever will. Listening to you will help them in their treatment of her and they should understand this clearly.

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  3. thank you once again for the understanding of both the illness and the pain and suffering of both the veteran and his family. The pain the family feels from the loss of the veteran to PTSD runs as deep as if the person had never returned at all. They all can heal with understanding and treatment this we know. To all those suffering, I will continue to fight for treatment you so rightly deserve. I give you my faith today but with faith comes hope.

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  4. Hi Eileen
    Keep up the good fight. Sooner or later they will return to the days when they would listen. I thank God my husband's doctors did.

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