Suicide death of friend leads journalist to understand PTSD

We must help our returning warriors
By Scott Krahling
For the Sun-News
Posted: 04/28/2009 01:00:00 AM MDT



My friend Kyle was a colleague at work and a neighbor, as well. For over a year, I considered him one of my closest friends, and the time I spent with him helped me realize many things. His death — by suicide — helped me realize many more.

Unlike Kyle, I am not a veteran of military service. Even so, I always assumed I understood veterans' issues and that I could empathize with their experiences by extrapolating from my own. I was wrong.

Nothing I have done in my life could have helped me understand how being in battle changed Kyle emotionally and psychologically. After his death, I delved further into the topic of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I wanted to know what killed a man who survived service in the U.S. Army 101st Airborne Division.

Part of my research led me to the Las Cruces Vet Center, where Guy McCommon and his staff work daily with warriors who have served our country and have come back changed by the experience. Changed by the reality of killing. Changed by the reality of being hunted. Changed by the memories of blood, bone and bodies — men, women and children. Changed by ghosts. Changed by nightmares that we who have not been to war cannot imagine.

Kyle tried his best to come back home and fit in, but his personal universe was so manifestly altered by his experiences that what we call "society" was chimera to him. He knew how thin the veil of civilization is, and he knew the savagery of which humans are capable toward one another. There was no going back. There was only slogging forward, trying to adapt alone to a new reality that even his closest friends could not grasp. Empathy is an empty word for a warrior amid civilians.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It sounds clinical and clean to those of us who are uninitiated. This is not the stress of a job lost or even the funeral for a friend.

It is a messy, complicated, jagged and relentless reality for those who experience traumatic events in war or in life. It is shards of glass on the nerves. It is live electricity against bare flesh. It is savage enough to drive a good man to a silent, peaceful grave.
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