"Kill yourself. Save us the paperwork"

It feels as if I've spent most of my life reading stories like this. It could be because I've spent over half my life reading these stories and knowing that any one of them could have been my husband. That's the biggest problem in all of this. They are someone's husband, someone's son, someone's friend, but too few pay attention to any of this.

"Kill yourself. Save us the paperwork"
Pfc. Ryan Alderman, now deceased, sought medical help from the Army. He got a fistful of powerful drugs instead.

Editor's note: This is part of the second installment in a weeklong series called "Coming Home." Read Ryan Alderman's sworn statement, written a week before his death, here, and a description of three other suicides of Fort Carson-based soldiers here. See the introduction to the series here.

By Mark Benjamin and Michael de Yoanna

Feb. 10, 2009 FORT CARSON, Colo. -- It was unseasonably warm for November in Colorado as Heidi Lieberman approached the door of the Soldiers' Memorial Chapel at Fort Carson. She walked past a few of the large evergreens that dot the chapel grounds and then entered the blockish, modern beige and brown chapel topped with a sharp, rocketlike steeple.

Inside, the chapel was hushed. Camouflage-clad, crew-cut young men packed the pews. Up in front, an empty Army helmet hung on the butt of an upright M16. A pair of brown combat boots sat below, as if they had been tucked under a bunk. A soldier handed Heidi a program for a memorial service. On the front was the image of a soldier, kneeling in prayer below an American flag and illuminated by a beacon of light from above. The inscription just below the kneeling soldier read, "Lord, grant me the strength ..."


It had been five days since Heidi's son Adam, 21, a soldier at Fort Carson, swallowed handfuls of prescription sleeping pills and psychotropic drugs in the barracks, trying to die. With a can of black paint, Adam brushed a suicide note on the wall of his room. The Army, Adam wrote, "took my life." (Read Adam Lieberman's story here.)

Adam had lived. Pfc. Timothy Ryan Alderman wasn't so lucky. Alderman had been found dead of a similar drug overdose in his room in the barracks at Fort Carson in the early-morning hours of Oct. 20, 10 days before Adam Lieberman made his suicide attempt.

Heidi, who was at Fort Carson to deal with the aftermath of her own son's suicide attempt, had decided to attend Alderman's funeral although neither she nor her son had known him. She sank into a pew and tried to reconcile two warring thoughts.
click link for more of Part Two.....Part three follows


"You're a pussy and a scared little kid"
John Needham returned from Iraq, suffering from combat stress. If he had received proper care, would he be standing trial for murder?

Editor's note: This is the third installment in a weeklong investigative series called "Coming Home." Read a note written by John Needham here. You can also read the introduction to the series, and the first and second installments, which appeared Monday and Tuesday.

By Michael de Yoanna and Mark Benjamin
Feb. 12, 2009 FORT CARSON, Colo. -- Fellow soldiers in Iraq called John Wiley Needham "Needhammer" for his toughness. They also saw him as somehow charmed, because the tall blond Army private from Southern California always seemed to be just far enough away from danger. People died next to Needham; Needham survived.

But "Needhammer" was not indestructible after all. He struggled with the aftereffects of the explosions he'd dodged. He survived a suicide attempt while in Iraq, and, after being shipped out of the country in 2007, was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and a brain injury. He took so many prescription meds he could barely hold his head up. According to Needham's father, Mike, the Army's response to the soldier's problems was punishment rather than treatment.

Last year, just weeks after his discharge, he allegedly beat 19-year-old aspiring model Jacqwelyn Villagomez to death in his California condo.


A Salon investigation has identified several trends involving Fort Carson soldiers who became homicidal. There are failures by healthcare workers and commanders to provide proper care to soldiers struggling with hidden wounds such as PTSD and brain injuries. There is a tendency to overmedicate soldiers struggling with stress or other injuries. Behind it all is an Army culture that punishes problematic soldiers instead of aiding them.
click link above for more of this