Memorial service is marked by tears and remembrances

Memorial service is marked by tears and remembrances
by
Chaplain Kathie

When I viewed these pictures, as I hope all of you do as well, the thought of how few people in this country witnessing occasions such as this, really troubled me. When the Bush Administration banned press coverage of flag draped coffins coming back, I seriously doubt they thought of what they were doing. They said it was because the families didn't want them there, yet even when families stepped forward saying they did, they were denied the press coverage. This contributed to the disconnect of the American public and the fallen, perhaps even the disconnect from what was happening in Iraq and Afghanistan as well.

We carried on with our lives oblivious to the tally of the fallen and the wounded. It was almost as if we were supposed to forget we had troops in harms way in two military campaigns. The death count went up, press coverage went down. Then we had our own problems to worry about. The economy replaced interest in Iraq. Afghanistan, well that was just about all forgotten. Still for the families and friends of the fallen and wounded, the injustice was done and they were left to suffer while America avoided.

Honoring the fallen
Don Crass comforts his grandson Brenton Throop, 4, during a memorial service for Marine and Navy personnel killed during a recent eight-month deployment. Crass' son, Marine Lance Cpl. Layton Crass, was killed June 14, 2008.(Rick Loomis / Los Angeles Times)
December 12, 2008

Marine Corps honors 20 killed in Afghanistan
Los Angeles Times - CA,USA

The memorial service is marked by tears and remembrances as military officials pay tribute to those who served with the California-based 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment.
By Tony Perry
December 13, 2008
Reporting from Twentynine Palms, Calif. -- Family members of Marine Lance Cpl. San Sim of Santa Ana were among the last to leave an emotional memorial service Friday for 20 military personnel killed during a recent deployment to Afghanistan.

One sister knelt on the grass in front of the ceremonial inverted rifle and cradled her brother's picture. Another wore his dog tags. And yet another wondered aloud why the youngest of the family's 11 children had to be the first to die.

"I'll miss you so much," one sister said, sobbing.

Sim's wife, Karla Cardenas, held a neatly folded American flag given to her by the Marine Corps, while their 1-year-old-son, Donovan, was in the arms of one of his uncles.

"He always thought of others, always," she said of her husband, who was 23 when he was killed.


It was a morning of tears and remembrances as military officials honored 17 Marines, a Navy corpsman, a soldier and an Afghan interpreter killed during the just-completed eight-month deployment of the 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment. Most died from roadside bombs, others in sniper attacks and in firefights.

"These were America's best warriors, and fine young men," Lt. Col. Richard Hall, the battalion commander, told the gathering of several hundred Marines and family members at this sprawling Marine base. "They fought and sacrificed for something larger than themselves."

Leon Taylor said his son, Army Reserve Spc. Deon Taylor, 30, a New York City police officer, was happy to deploy to Afghanistan to mentor Afghan police. "He thought he was making a difference, making things better," Taylor said.

Military men and women of all ranks died leaving behind families and friends to grieve. The wounded came back and families were left to fend for themselves juggling their own jobs and the need to be with their wounded warrior as they tried to heal. But we didn't pay attention.

National Guardsmen and women, left their families, friends and jobs to deploy over and over again and Reservists like Spc. Deon Taylor, left the New York Police Department to deploy into Afghanistan to help the Afghan Police force take charge. While they served overseas, their families had to act like the regular military families and just carry on. The problem was they were not regular military families and their incomes depended upon the one being deployed with civilian jobs, careers and businesses. Too many lost their homes, went on food stamps and then had to fight the government to have their wounds taken care of and financially compensated for the lost incomes. But we didn't pay attention.


How could we? The nightly news was focused on the elections and the economy. Occasionally cable news would put some kind of attention on the top wounds for Iraq and Afghanistan, PTSD and TBI, but not enough coverage was provided by any media station. When two thirds of the American public have no idea what PTSD is, that is proof of the lack of coverage.

Most of us will not even think of the wounded until they go out in public in their wheel chairs or on crutches with a pant leg pulled up where their leg used to be. Some of us will line the street when we know there will be a funeral for a fallen soldier as other motorists wait impatiently for the funeral chain of cars to get out of their way. No one notices the family in the limo behind the hearse.

We say we support the troops and we say we honor their willingness to sacrifice for the rest of us but we don't do it if we have something else to think about. We put our own wants, needs and suffering before anything that is happening to them. From ignoring the over 800,000 claims backlogged in the VA, to the families becoming homeless, to the fact so many suffer from PTSD and TBI without the majority of us ever hearing either term. This is not how we should support any of them.

Too many have ignored all of it. Some of us pay attention all day and everyday but we have "skin in the game" a personal attachment to them. For me, it's just what I do because of PTSD. For others they do it because of someone they know is serving, or served and suffered after. The rest of the country moves on oblivious to all of it until they are reminded to remember. It's really too bad the reminder does not come often enough to really honor all of them.