A life thrown into turmoil by $100 donation for Prop. 8

A life thrown into turmoil by $100 donation for Prop. 8
Steve Lopez
December 14, 2008
Margie Christoffersen didn't make it very far into our conversation before she cracked. Chest heaving, tears streaming, she reached for her husband Wayne's hand and then mine, squeezing as if she'd never let go.

"I've almost had a nervous breakdown. It's been the worst thing that's ever happened to me," she sobbed as curious patrons at a Farmers Market coffee shop looked on, wondering what calamity had visited this poor woman who's an honest 6 feet tall, with hair as blond as the sun.


Well, Christoffersen was a manager at El Coyote, the Beverly Boulevard landmark restaurant that's always had throngs of customers waiting to get inside. Many of them were gay, and Christoffersen, a devout Mormon, donated $100 in support of Proposition 8, the successful November ballot initiative that banned gay marriage.

She never advertised her politics or religion in the restaurant, but last month her donation showed up on lists of "for" and "against" donors. And El Coyote became a target.

A boycott was organized on the Internet, with activists trashing El Coyote on restaurant review sites. Then came throngs of protesters, some of them shouting "shame on you" at customers. The police arrived in riot gear one night to quell the angry mob.

The mob left, but so did the customers.

Sections of the restaurant have been closed, a manager told me Friday during a very quiet lunch hour. Some of the 89 employees, many of them gay, have had their hours cut, and layoffs are looming. And Christoffersen, who has taken a voluntary leave of absence, is wondering whether she'll ever again be able to work at the restaurant, which opened in 1931 (at 1st and La Brea) and is owned by her 92-year-old mother.

"It's been so hard," she said, breaking down again.

A lot of customers saw Christoffersen as the face of the restaurant. She was the hostess who roamed from table to table with a pitcher of water, refilling glasses and schmoozing with friends.

Christoffersen, raised Mormon by her late father, told me she has no problem with gay people.

"I love them like everybody else."
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Does she really "love them like everybody else?" This reminds me of a conversation I had a while back. A religious has a brother that, according to him, made the choice to be gay. There was no convincing him that biology has more to do with it than anything else and there was really no choice to make at all. I couldn't convince him that we were born in the image of God and that image, is not flesh and blood and bones, but the soul we carry within us. After all, if we were born in a physical image of God, we'd all look the same. He wouldn't listen to the fact that there were gay people walking on the earth when God handed Moses the Ten Commandments and there is not one reference to being gay among them. He wouldn't listen to the fact that according to the laws at the time, it was ok to marry more than one woman and you can see that with David, the other kings and for adultery, well Abraham had his own reasons. He didn't want to hear what Christ had to say about it either, or actually what He didn't have to say because there is not one case where the words in the New Testament were attributed to what He said. They were the interpretations of they thought was good. Even though the "rules" did not fit into what Christ said.

Then the man stunned me by saying that while he loved his brother, he couldn't have anything to do with him because he was a sinner living the way he did and he couldn't support it.

I pointed out that Christ said no one sin is worse than others. We are all sinners and all we have to do is read the Red Letters of the Bible to discover that one. There were really two great commandments according to Christ. First love God and then love each other. How can you really love someone if you condemn them? How can you point your finger at someone, call them a sinner, then forget about what you have within you condemning you?

We get so much twisted up in the Christian faith and even Christians can't agree with each other. If we could there wouldn't be so many different denominations and fracturing within Christianity. Christ said to take care of each other and forgive each other. He didn't tell us to live their lives or tell them how to live. He told us how to live our own lives. It's up to them how they live, what they do or do not do but we are accountable for how we live our own lives. Being gay isn't a sin. Even if it was, Christ would forgive them because He died for all sinners.

Well, my friend finally understood what I was talking about but I think he was just being polite and didn't really get it. I hope he had a change of heart, but somehow I doubt his brother will be invited to his house this Christmas either. First it was traumatic for the gay people to have their right to marry taken away. Now it's the people supporting the ban suffering the traumatic reaction to what they did. Is anyone happy over any of this? The churches, well they backed it with money, but they could have done what Christ said with the money they spent on this and took care of the poor and needy instead of supporting something hateful. No one won.