Shaking your dust off my feet

LUKE 9:5-6

5 And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a testimony against them.
6 And they departed, and went through the towns, preaching the gospel, and healing every where.

I've been doing outreach work with Veterans since 1982, long before some of my readers were born. In 2000, my book, For The Love Of Jack, was finished and in 2001, I tried to find a publisher. This was long before all the press coverage of PTSD. No one was really interested in what Vietnam veterans were going thru, almost as if they had nothing to learn. When September 11, 2001 came, I knew there would be a lot more veterans suffering from PTSD, who up until that point, coped with it. 9-11 brought a "secondary stressor" far too few psychologists address. I gave up trying to find a publisher, realizing the urgency of providing the information in my book, I decided to self-publish. I received very little help but if you look online there are a lot of links to this book still up. The book is online for free from this blog on the side bar. It opens in Adobe.

Think about how much this book could have helped families back then, before the media finally decided that it was an important story. 18 years of our life are that book covering how my husband's PTSD was mild when we met, but the secondary stressor sent him over the edge. A secondary stressor is like giving un-addressed PTSD a shot of steroid. It happens that quickly. It also contained 18 years of researching what I had learned. Most of the studies they are doing right now, have already been done. What if the researchers had bothered to check with the families already living with it, coping with it and used their experiences to help the new generation? Think of how many lost years could have been spent on new research.

I am not a powerful person. I am not a rich person. I am just like every other average American trying to make a difference to a lot of hurting people. While I know a lot of powerful people, very few of them had faith in me, my knowledge or my experience. I asked them to help me help the veterans and their families. While they said they would, they never did.

I was asked to become certified with the Association of Traumatic Stress Specialists years ago but I said I wanted to stay right by the side of veterans and their families as one of them. In my mind there were enough professionals at the time but the veterans needed someone to show them the way on a equal level. I knew I would be able to charge people for what I did had I opted to become certified, but that was not what the veterans needed. So I worked a regular job and did the outreach work in my spare time.

As the numbers of veterans were growing and too little was being done, no one with the power to address it was listening to people like me. Letters to Senators and Congressmen were responded to with a form letter telling me they cared about the issue but they did nothing. I was never asked to speak to them, inform them or offer all those years of experience with my own husband and hundreds of veterans at that point. I was screaming about the growing need, but no one heard me.

In 2006 I came up with the idea to reach veterans the way the new veterans where they were, on Google and YouTube. I started doing videos on PTSD, combining music, pictures and a message, so they would not have to read too much but get the point that PTSD is a wound, is a normal reaction to abnormal events and that there was hope in healing if they reached out for help.

Over twenty videos later, thousands of hits on videos covering all forms of trauma, videos for Vietnam veterans, veterans families, Iraq and Afghanistan veterans, along with others living with the aftermath of trauma, still these powerful people will not listen. I've traveled with these videos but considering the need out there to share information with the veterans and their families who still don't know what PTSD is, especially the National Guards and Reservists, I've been turned down on doing presentations. People will watch the videos, come up to me and ask me if I would be interested in doing another presentation and when I agree, I never hear from them again. Churches have turned down my offer to help their congregations understand what PTSD is so they can help the veterans and their families.

What I do, which is taking up 16 hours a day, I do for free. I ask for donations but the people who can afford to donate, use my work without feeling any need to donate, yet the people who have very little money will donate what they can. With this, there is no money to spend on advertising my work. I have to trust word of mouth to spread the videos and the kindness of strangers who value it enough to pass it on. I deeply appreciate everyone who has taken the time to help me with this work.

For a long time, I could not understand why the people with the power to help me wouldn't. I've never been wrong because I pay attention to all of this as if my life depended on it, simply because it does. All the warnings I tried to give have been proven to have come true yet leaders of many different groups would not provide me with the time of day to share the information before it all came to pass when something could have been done to prevent the suffering of thousands and their families.

Now I think I finally figured it out. It's not that I don't know what I'm talking about or have trouble articulating any of it. It's not that any of the information is wrong, because it's all supported with research and links. It's because they are blind to it all. The VA only sees what they are shown. They are dedicated people but they will not spend this kind of time researching any of this. They do not talk to people across the country and the world. They only talk to the people who come to them or read whatever the VA puts out. The service organizations also know they have a problem but they are reluctant to act to address it and when it is presented to them, they take offense as if they are being attacked. I've had many arguments with them over the years and when I do, I tell them that what I do would not do anyone any good unless they were there to treat, diagnose and assist the veterans with their claims. I need them where they are but I also need them to open their eyes and know what is coming and what they can do to get ahead of it for a change.

I know that if I happened to be a Republican, I would have all the support in the world. This is not a baseless claim. I've seen it when someone will watch one of my videos, call me a hero online one day and then slam me the next when they find out I'm not one of them. I've tried to help out on message boards and get involved with some of the military groups online, but have been turned down.

None of my PTSD videos are political but politics constantly plays into this. I help all veterans no matter what political party they happen to be in because they have my heart and tug at my soul. I fully support them because they are willing to risk their lives for the sake of this nation and it's not up to them where they go. They all need help and to avoid someone who happens to be a Democrat who can help them with this devastating wound is an injury to them. It would be one thing if they disagreed with my political view but supported my work but they will not even bother to notice that when I address PTSD, there is nothing political involved because PTSD does not care what political party they happen to be in.

When I come out and slam a politician it is not because of their political party, but it's because there is an assumption only Republicans support veterans, when their voting records prove that to be a false assumption. I slam John McCain because he claims he supports veterans but his record proves he does not whenever he's had the chance to prove it. He made the claim that he doesn't need lessons on what veterans need because he is such a supporter of them. This claim was allowed to just stand when he has an abysmal record on proving it.

What the Republicans do not see is that I will slam anyone who does not do the right thing for veterans, just as I did when Bill Clinton was president and would not address the backlog of claims or the issue that congress passed a stupid law that allowed the VA to collect for "non-service connected" treatments never once considering that any claim not approved was tagged as "non-service connected" even if the veteran had lost a leg to a bomb. No approved claim meant they would have to pay until a claim was approved. The ramifications of this rule had such far reaching affects that veterans have been suffering not just financially but feeling betrayed by the very same country they were wounded while serving.

As I said, I know a lot of powerful people who will not give me the time of day when it comes to this. They look at me as if I am not worthy of their help to help veterans, as ironic as that sounds. So now I'm shaking the dust off my feet when it comes to all of them. I'm done trying to get them to put politics aside and focus on what the veterans need and what can be done. I'm tired of acting as if they are more important than I am in this just because they have received the support to get them into the positions they are in. When people put politics first someone suffers. The veterans have been suffering needlessly because of this.

I will still go where I'm asked to go, but I'm done trying to be invited. I will no longer send updates on videos that I do to help to organizations who have failed to share them. I will no longer contact anyone or support any organization that cannot put the needs of the veterans above what political party I happen to belong to. I will no longer put up with being viewed as someone who is less patriotic or of lesser value than they are.

Above all I am done being hurt by people who question my faith because I take the words of Christ so seriously that I cannot take the easy road agreeing with people who are not following His word and treating people the way He said they should be treated. I am so serious about being a Christian that I was the head of Christian Education for a church for two years and became a Chaplain so that I could be of service the way Christ was. He helped all people no matter what faith they belonged to. Chaplains are not supposed to be about evangelizing. That is the job of the clergy and it's high time the evangelizing got out of the military and they returned to taking care of the spiritual needs of all no matter what faith they hold or if they hold no faith at all.

This also gets me slammed by the far right as well as other Christians who cannot understand that if one branch of the Christian faith is allowed to evangelize, that leaves them out. Do they ever stop to consider how many branches there are of Christianity? Do they notice that all Christians do not hold the same doctrine? If they noticed these glaring facts, they would have a problem with evangelizing in the military as well. It's also another reason why I'm asked to help a certain group one day and the next ignored.

I know this was a long rant but it's taken me a lot of years of frustration to reach this point. After 26 years doing this, you'd think that I would have had a lot more support than I do and I'm tired of fighting them wasting time I could have been just fighting for veterans.

NOTE: You know who this is addressed to and you have only yourself to blame. You would not help me to get the information I have to the veterans needing it, so all the veterans who contacted me when they are suicidal, remember there are many more who never found my work in time.
Senior Chaplain Kathie Costos

Namguardianangel@aol.com

http://www.woundedtimes.blogspot.com/