PTSD:Wounds too great to heal

Wounds too great to heal

By Daniel Hartill , Staff Writer
Sunday, October 5, 2008
SunJournal.com - Lewiston,ME,USA


You don't recover from PTSD. You survive it. Jim Chaousis is one of many veterans who are hoping new drugs and treatment will make him a survivor.

LEWISTON - After nine years of fighting his memories - of a terrifying nighttime crash in a Marine Corps helicopter - Jim Chaousis wants peace.

"People throw out the word 'suicidal' a lot," the 31-year-old Livermore man said. "I don't know how to embrace that word. I don't want to die."

Holding his hands together to fight the shaking in his brawny 6-foot-2-inch frame, Chaousis looks at once intimidating and frightened.

"I know I can't grind out like this forever," he said. "I'm tired. Every day is scratch and claw and get to the next day. I've been doing this for nine years, and I don't have nine more to do. I can't stomach nine years."

Chaousis (pronounced chay-O-sis) wants a cure for his post-traumatic stress disorder. He wants restful dreams at night and clear thoughts in the day. He wants to go to a ballgame and walk in his town without anxiety. He wants a cure for himself, his family and for the growing number of wartime veterans who are returning home with the emotional scars of battle.

"I don't want somebody else to have to walk in the same footsteps," he said.

But it's a peace many may never find.
click post title for more