I just returned from Massachusetts. My brother was buried yesterday. His death at the age of 56 was very hard, but it is never really easy no matter what age someone is when you love them.
Thank you to all who sent cards and emails. They are greatly appreciated.
My brother was a Mason and the lodge sent representatives for a very impressive memorial. One of the Priests from my old church was there as well. I was prepared to offer some words as well, ready as a Chaplain in uniform but dreading having to do it for my own brother. Once the Masons were done, I knew there was no need for me to say anything.
My brother was a builder. He worked in construction and what he built will be noticed for many years in the buildings but what he built in the people he touched will also live on. My nieces gave a eulogy about how much he had been the foundation of their lives and how they will remember all he gave. His life will live on in all they do. His life is a part of his wife, my sister-in-law that I adore. It will also live on in his friends.
According to Greek tradition, after the funeral, we all got together for a meal of fish at a restaurant. I offered the blessing in my own way, which I'm sure was not the kind of blessing anyone had ever heard before.
I talked about how Christ had come into the world to offer love, compassion and forgiveness for our sins. What I added to that was the story of how after Lazarus died, his sister Mary ran to Jesus with tears in her eyes. She told Jesus that if He had been there, her brother would not have died. Even though Jesus knew in a few moments, she would rejoice because He was ready to raise Lazarus from the dead, He had so much compassion for her that He wept for her. It is the most powerful sentence in the Bible and for me, the most powerful one. It simply says, "Jesus wept."
I talked about how it was important that we understand that to grieve for one who is no longer with us, we should comfort each other and remember all that life had offered to us. Each one of us has so much to give, share and add to this world. I also talked about how it was that we rejoice for what we had been given by those no longer with us.
My brother added so much to our lives. His body is at rest now, but his life will live on in all who came into contact with him.
Jesus knows our pain even though He knows the soul will return back to the side of God in the Paradise of Heaven. He knows we grieve when someone we love dies. Each of us touch the lives of so many no matter how we feel as if we just don't matter very much.
So many have passed away in my family and it does not get any easier in my family than in anyone else's family. It's hard to know you will not see them again or hear their voice, but if you listen very carefully you can hear them in soul. Someone will say something that reminds you of what they once said. A laugh from a stranger will sound like their laugh. You will hear them when you listen to a song that reminds you of them. Hang onto the memories all you shared and the sharing will never end. In this way, they will live on right here on earth, still touching lives.
Senior Chaplain Kathie Costos
International Fellowship of Chaplains
www.Woundedtimes.blogspot.com"The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, shall be directly proportional to how they perceive veterans of early wars were treated and appreciated by our nation." - George Washington
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