Scottsdale Marine Unable to Find Peace After War

Scottsdale Marine Unable to Find Peace After War
The Arizona Republic

Sep 12, 2008
September 3, 2008, Scottsdale, AZ - Police identified Michael Murray, 22, of Scottsdale, as the motorcyclist who died Monday evening after crashing his 2008 Honda into a pole near the 4300 block of Hayden Road."

The report does not mention that Murray, a former member of the 3rd Marine Division and a two-tour combat veteran of Afghanistan and Iraq, was a casualty of war.

"That isn't what the official records say, but there is a lot of truth to that," said his mother, Silvana Smith. "A lot of these kids come back from the war and they have such burdens in their hearts, like Michael did, that they can't quite readjust."

The director of a local Veterans Administration program aimed at helping returning soldiers with post-traumatic stress disorder told me recently that many Iraq war vets show signs of PTSD. They have trouble concentrating, difficulty with anger management, survivor guilt and controlling what they know to be reckless impulses. For example, driving a motorcycle a little too fast at night on a city street.

"Michael was the jewel of our family," his mother told me. "But it wasn't the military part of his life that made him so. It was his heart. He was a mediator. A peacemaker. He was our heart and soul. Sounds strange for a boy who was in the Marines, doesn't it?"
go here for more
http://www.veteransforcommonsense.org/ArticleID/11146

It is lives like Michael Murray being lost that the following is occurring all across the nation.

Law Enforcement Learns How to Help Vets in Crisis
Faced with the rising number of Iraq and Afghanistan war vets battling mental wounds, Central Florida law-enforcement officials are beefing up crisis-intervention training, or CIT, with an eye to getting troubled veterans help instead of putting them in jail.

What is happening is that law enforcement officials are taking a different look at the veterans in this nation, coming to terms with the fact, these are not your average citizens who take no regard for the lives of anyone else, but instead wounded warriors who were willing to lay down their lives for the sake of others. It is even more vital this awakening happen fast with the vast numbers of citizen soldiers, the National Guards and the Reservists, come back an re-enter their civilian lives yet still dealing with combat. There is no room for error or uninformed judgment when it comes to them. Their lives and futures are on the line.

When Vietnam veterans came back, too many of them ended up in jail for "self-medicating" with alcohol or drugs. They were regarded suddenly as "low life" drunks and addicts. They went from heroes with medals on their chests to spending their days behind bars.

While the wounds of war have not changed since the first day of war in recorded history, the attitudes are changing and lives are being saved along with justice being weighed with the history behind the veterans. Today we see some states where the veterans are still being sent to jail but more and more, other states are taking a fresh look at what justice really is when it comes to veterans. They are sending them into therapy instead of prison.

It's a wonderful thing!

"Michael was the jewel of our family," his mother told me. "But it wasn't the military part of his life that made him so. It was his heart. He was a mediator. A peacemaker. He was our heart and soul.

In all of this it also helps the families. When they come home wounded, veterans like Murray, are no longer being seen as someone with no regard for others when they "drive irresponsibly" or drunk drive. Police and emergency responder no longer pass their death off as a person responsible for their own life ending. They know this life mattered as all other lives but they also see the cause behind it. Families left behind are now finding there is no need for shame, or anger toward the veteran or blame. They are understanding what comes with the wound of PTSD and they are finding their own healing in the process. They understand that the veteran did not suddenly stop being who he/she was because of PTSD. A veteran who loved their family, was still the same person. A veteran who would have given up their life to save another was still the same person when their life ended. The only difference was that life was trapped behind a world of painful memories.

"But that's not always enough," Silvana said. "Michael's father made a good point. He said that in the Marines you're trained to be tough and independent and not to ask for help. That helps you survive in a war. But back home, that can kill you."

The beginning of this week I posted how I met two Marines at the VA clinic/hospital in Orlando. I was talking to both of them when one began to cry. I had on my chaplain's shirt so he felt he could talk to me. He apologized for crying telling me that Marines are supposed to be tough.

I reminded him of the fact that he did his duty and was "tough" while he was deployed and did not need to apologize for anything. That's their problem when you get right down to it. They forget how brave they were faced with combat and that they were tough, doing whatever was asked of them no matter how much pain they carried inside.

He could have been like Michael Murray when he had to put the body of his friend into a bag. Imagine that kind of pain and then imagine having to stay and still do what is required of you with all that inside of you.

This is what happens to far too many of them and to this day, there are still far too many who do not understand that this is a wound. Families deal with the pain of the loss, grief, shame, anger and confusion. They lash out at others in that anger because they simply do not understand how any of this could have happened. The Murray family, well they are an example of what families should do but far too often they lack the understanding to do it.

There are families all across this nation feeling the pain but adding to it with a sense of shame they feel. They feel they have to defend the veteran or hide the cause of death simply because they do not understand that there is no need for either one. There is nothing to feel shame over when we're talking about the men and women who serve this nation. They are a unique breed who are willing to sacrifice all personal needs for the sake of service. There is no need to try to hide the cause of death when PTSD is involved because they wouldn't feel the need to hide the cause of death if it happened by enemy fire or a bomb. A wound is still a wound. PTSD is a wound and the sooner all military families come to terms with that fact, the sooner the rest of the country will awaken from coast to coast to the point where no one misunderstands this wound.

The other fact in families like the Murray's is that because they are willing to speak out, other families will find comfort and perhaps courage to speak out as well. Families like the Murray's are partly responsible for suffering veterans feeling comfortable enough to tell their stories and getting us closer to the days when no one has to suffer in silence. They will find more and more just like them and more and more support from the communities they live in.

Senior Chaplain Kathie Costos
Namguardianangel@aol.com
www.Namguardianangel.org
www.Woundedtimes.blogspot.com
"The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, shall be directly proportional to how they perceive veterans of early wars were treated and appreciated by our nation." - George Washington