Deployments stress kids, too

Deployments stress kids, too
Some Hawaii families deal with simultaneous tours or double the separation time

By William Cole
Advertiser Military Writer

Their previous deployments to Iraq were hard enough for married Army couple Sgt. 1st Class Kevin Pelayo and Spc. Cristine Fredericks.


Two months after Pelayo came home from nearly a year in the combat zone, his wife deployed to it — effectively doubling their separation time.

But a new round of expected deployments coming up for the Hawai'i-based soldiers has brought a new challenge: This time, they have an 8-month-old son, Kristopher.

The child will be in his grandmother's care this fall in New York while his parents expect to be in Iraq for a year.

"I got to the point that I don't even like to think about it because it's hard," said Fredericks, 24. "I'm not going to be there for my baby's 1-year birthday, and I'm going to miss that whole one year. But the thing is, it's better for us to be deployed at the same time than us to be away one at a time."

While much attention has been focused on post-traumatic stress disorder and the break-up of families due to repeat combat deployments, children of deployed service members have suffered their own plight, with both mom and dad suffering right alongside them.

The Army has recognized the separation issues, and is trying to address them with educational DVDs, counseling in and out of school, and even camps.

Many Hawai'i families will need it this fall and early next year. About 4,000 Stryker brigade soldiers are deployed to Iraq, and 7,000 more Schofield soldiers are expected to join them.

About 1,700 Hawai'i National Guard and Reserve soldiers will be leaving for Kuwait, battalions of 1,000 Kane'ohe Bay Marines have been on continual deployments to western Iraq, and the Army's 45th Sustainment brigade and its 2,000 soldiers may head to Afghanistan early in 2009.

Children miss their deployed parent, and the stress experienced by a spouse back home — along with the depression and anxiety that result from it — can be transferred to youngsters, experts say.

Dolly Purdie's son, now 6, was a model kindergartner.

"When I went to pick him up, teachers said, 'Oh, he's the best student. He's so helpful,' " she said.

But after the youngster's father, Staff Sgt. Kevin Purdie, left for 15 months in Iraq with the 3rd brigade out of Schofield Barracks, there were fights nearly every week at school.

"Me and my husband were both shocked how he did so well in kindergarten, and then, all of a sudden, in first grade, he was like a whole other person," Dolly Purdie said.

She attributes the change to her husband being away in Iraq — something the family will experience again this fall, when Kevin Purdie and the 3rd brigade of 3,500 soldiers deploy to Iraq for a year.
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