“How Do You Mourn for Someone Who Isn’t Dead?”

National Guard families are falling apart. Who is listening? Congress is but what are they doing about it other than holding more hearings?

Testimony By Stacy Bannerman, M.S. - House Committee on Veterans’ Affairs
HOUSE VETERANS AFFAIRS SUBCOMMITTEE ON HEALTH
February 28, 2008
Mental Health Impacts of Iraq War on the Families of Guard/Reserve Veterans.
TESTIMONY of
Stacy Bannerman, M.S., author of “When the War Came Home: The Inside Story of Reservists and the Families They Leave Behind.” (2006) Wife of National Guard soldier/Iraq War veteran, Bronze Star, Combat Infantry Badge recipient
“How Do You Mourn for Someone Who Isn’t Dead?”

After our loved ones return from deployments that have all the precursors for post-combat mental health issues, (civilian casualties, longer than six months, significant combat exposure, enlisted rank, citizen soldier, loss of unit support post-combat, etc.) we’re given a pamphlet and told to “give it time.” While we’re reading and waiting, we’re losing our veterans, our marriages, and our families. One former spouse said:

This war cost me my family. When my husband returned from Iraq it quickly became apparent he was suffering from PTSD. He became increasingly verbally and mentally abusive to not only my daughter and I, but many of his subordinates at work who either quit or he had fired. He refused to admit he had a problem, and since the military does no mental status follow-up [for Reservists] he hasn’t received any treatment for his condition. As a consequence, my family is destroyed. My son isn’t being raised by his dad and my daughter lost the only father she knew. I know a divorce isn’t as bad as losing my husband to death, but I can honestly say the man I married died in Iraq.

We are also given the option of five free sessions with a civilian provider. Here’s what one Guard wife wrote about that:

When my husband returned from Iraq, we were offered five free “helping” sessions- they were careful to stress that it was not counseling or therapy- after which, we were on our own. In our first session, my husband talked about the nightmares, the sounds that would trigger a flashback or a rush of fear. Our “helper” chose to focus that particular session on….our financial situation. She was a civilian, and was thoroughly unfamiliar with any of the issues facing military families, much less returning vets.

And so, my husband entered private therapy, at a cost of $85.00 a week which we often didn’t have. I was no longer a part of this process. The impact of his deployments on our family was no longer addressed. We were simply supposed to continue on as if nothing had changed. But we had been changed. Rob came back hardened, angry. I was angry myself, bitter and resentful. We both experienced PTSD.

Any reminder of his deployment, such as hearing about a group deploying or returning from Iraq, would send me into sobbing panic attacks. I experience what I called “home-front flashbacks”, sudden overwhelming feelings of isolation, fear, depression, helplessness, triggered by commercials, news stories, or a particular song on the radio. What use were these “helping sessions” when our “helper” had no concept of what life was like for a military family?
go here for more
http://sanctuaryvf.org/?p=63

How many more hearings will it take before they figure out these people, these families need help today, not after more hearings?