Despite PTSD, Fallen Soldier Was Determined to Return to Iraq

Despite PTSD, Fallen Soldier Was Determined to Return to Iraq

Michael de Yoanna


Rocky Mountain News

Apr 22, 2008

April 21, 2008 - Staff Sgt. Chad A. Barrett was determined to muddle through a third tour of duty in Iraq.

Though his medical records show he suffered from acute post- traumatic stress disorder, had difficulty sleeping and was struggling with a traumatic brain injury, he assured his commanders and doctors that he could again serve his nation.

Yet, only weeks after arriving in Mosul in northern Iraq, Barrett, 35, a member of Fort Carson's 4th Infantry Division, was struggling.

"I am not getting any better, and really bad thoughts are running around my head," Barrett wrote in an e-mail to his father after five fellow soldiers were killed on Jan. 28 in an ambush by insurgents.

"Part of me wishes that one of those guys was me," he wrote. "I am goin(g) to try to talk to someone about sending me back home, cause I feel like I am just going to cause harm out here."

But Barrett would never make it home. Just five weeks into his tour, on Feb. 2, he went to his room and swallowed a lethal combination of antidepressants and sleeping pills that were prescribed for him.
go here for more
http://www.veteransforcommonsense.org/ArticleID/9900

As usual this morning brings more tears to my eyes. After over 1,600 post on this blog alone, I find myself with less and less to say. I keep wondering if it's doing any good. While I've already posted about this death before, so it comes as no surprise, my heart grieves because I am aware of too many more. While some will see numbers, I see names and lives and stories and families left behind. I see suffering where there should have already been healing. I see hopelessness where there should have been action taken so long ago. I see Vietnam being repeated over and over again and I see very little changed. There will be some posts encouraging but too many more are discouraging. When will this needless suffering end for them? When will they all get the care and treatment they deserve without having to fight for it? Today is one of those days when I just want to give up and find peace that I've done all I could over all these years, but I know until the day I die, I will have to keep doing this because there are even more families out there just like mine.

I know that if we give up on hoping changes will be made to help them all, it won't happen.

Today, I need some down time to deal with a sinus infection and work on a new video. I also need the time to spend in prayer for all those suffering when they could be healing. I'll be posting later but for now I'm signing off.