The Struggle Within Scarred Soldier Richard Russworn

Richard spent six months in Iraq and won a meritorious service award for his leadership ability. (Media Credit: Courtesy Photo)

The Struggle Within Scarred soldier
Brain damage and post-traumatic stress disorder have made college life difficult for Richard Russworn
By: David Morris
Issue date: 3/18/08 Section: News

Richard Russworn, a 36-year-old senior agricultural economics major, is no stranger to anger, fear and resentment. Though he traces some of these issues back to an abusive childhood, they have been made far worse by injuries he sustained while serving in Iraq and, most of all, by post-traumatic stress disorder.

Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is an anxiety disorder that can develop after life-threatening events. Susceptibility to PTSD, and the course of the disorder, is often influenced by negative experiences, such as abuse. The National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder says that PTSD affects between 12 percent and 20 percent of troops who return from Iraq. For a number of reasons, including fear of what others will think and how it will affect their military career, only half of returning troops seek treatment. Richard, however, believes that his anger and flashbacks make him a danger to himself and others.

"[If] you drop something and it makes a big bang, you could put me back in Iraq for a bit. I could start taking out people just to save my own life."

Richard says he grew up in a broken home where he was abused physically, emotionally and psychologically. When he was 15, his father took a job as a trucker and was gone Monday through Saturday. As a result, Richard was forced to raise himself.

He began working at a grocery store two miles down the street where he was paid $2.70 an hour. With that money, he bought food and paid bills. When Richard's father returned each week on Sunday, it was not a happy reunion. "It was gripe and complain about this and that - what I hadn't done, what I needed to do and how disrespectful I was becoming, how disobedient I was - and I got pounded for it.

"That's not the way a child should be brought up. I wish I'd had it a lot different. I'd be a different person today. I probably wouldn't resent myself as much."

Richard was so "socially dysfunctional" by the time he reached high school that he dropped out and got a GED. Craving a sense of order that he did not receive from home, he joined the Army, which he credits with straightening him out.

"When I hit society on my own at 15 years of age, I didn't have to listen to nobody. Other family members speculated that that would be my biggest problem in the military, was allowing somebody to have authority over me. [But] going into the military was probably the best thing I ever did to [develop] as a person, to teach me responsibility, discipline, so forth, because it was something I did not have. The Army probably did more for me than society ever has."
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